Humor & Everyday Life
Who Turned Out The Lights?
Florida has hurricanes, lightning and summer storms. Apparently it also needed iguanas capable of knocking out the power. “Who Turned Out The Lights?” turns documented Florida electrical outages into high-energy electro-funk comedy.
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Air conditioner humming Coffee getting hot Laptop on the counter Everything we've got Blue South Florida morning Not a cloud in sight Everything is working Zzzzzt What happened Who turned out the lights Wasn't thunder Wasn't lightning Wasn't weather rolling through No hurricane offshore Doing what hurricanes do Sixth Avenue substation Middle of the day Fourteen hundred thirty-one customers Watched the power go away Crew goes looking for the problem Transformer Tail Green Oh, you've got to be kidding me Who turned out the lights Iguana Who knocked out the power Iguana Who's got the neighborhood Standing in the dark Iguana One prehistoric Florida lizard Found the worst damn place to park Who turned out the lights Iguana Zzzzzt Don't Don't do that again Now here's where Florida Takes a little turn You hear iguana outage And assume somebody learns But it happens Then it happens Then it happens once again Eventually the power company Has to make a freaking plan We have an iguana strategy We have an iguana strategy An actual Iguana strategy For the electrical grid Yes Of course we do This is Florida Guard the transformers Cover the gear Block every place Those green bastards get near Protect the current Protect the lines Apparently we're designing Reptile countermeasures now Who turned out the lights Iguana Who's in the substation Iguana Who killed the Wi-Fi Iguana Who made the A C quit Iguana The A C The air conditioner Oh Now you've pissed off Florida Then Key West says You think that's bad December seventeenth Twenty eighteen Bahama Village substation One iguana walks in Seventy-six hundred customers Dark Ten minutes without power Then this reptile Gets tangled up with Sixty-nine thousand volts Well That should Nope Nope He walked away No He walked away Sixty-nine thousand volts Yes And he walked away Yes What are these freaking things made of Sixty-nine thousand volts Walked away Seventy-six hundred in the dark Walked away Ten-minute blackout Walked away I don't even want an explanation So engineers get together There has to be a way Keep iguanas off the equipment Keep the outages away Protective fiberglass guards Serious utility gear A real electrical solution To a very Florida problem And these devices have a name Green jackets I'm sorry What Green jackets Green jackets Yes For the iguanas No For the equipment Right Of course Because for one beautiful second I pictured a bunch of iguanas Wearing tiny green jackets And somehow That was the less ridiculous explanation Seventeen thousand dollars Green jackets Guard the substation Green jackets Keep the dinosaurs off the gear Green jackets Protect the current Green jackets We are spending money To keep giant lizards Away from electricity Welcome to Florida One outage is an accident Two is getting strange But once you're building hardware You've entered a different game Guard the transformers Cover everything they climb Build barriers around electricity Because apparently it's time For South Florida to defend the grid From prehistoric wildlife That sounds made up It isn't Who turned out the lights Iguana Who got in the substation Iguana Who made the A C quit Iguana Now I'm taking this personally Who took sixty-nine thousand volts Iguana Who walked away Iguana Who needs green jackets To keep him off the grid Iguana Who's gonna fix all this Not the iguana Who turned out the lights Iguana Who turned out the lights Iguana Refrigerator Television Wi-Fi Ohhhhh There she is Cold air Beautiful cold air Power's back House is cool Everything is finally right South Florida is back online and Who turned out the liiiiiiii Zzzzzzzzt Check the substation
Behind the story
Why This Song Exists
“Who Turned Out The Lights?” exists because apparently Florida needed one more way to lose electricity. Iguanas really have caused power outages in Florida. This is not a made-up premise for the album. Utilities have documented iguanas getting into electrical infrastructure, causing outages and forcing crews to think about something most power companies probably never expected to put on the planning board: How do we keep the giant invasive lizards out of the equipment? South Florida reporting has documented outages affecting real customers, repeated iguana-related incidents, and utilities adding protective equipment around vulnerable electrical infrastructure. That is the factual backbone of the song. I did not personally watch an iguana climb into a substation. This story comes from documented Florida utility incidents and reporting. But once I learned that an actual power company could legitimately need an iguana strategy, the song was inevitable. The production gets to have fun with that reality. The music glitches, drops out and misbehaves as though the electrical system itself has joined the cast. Florida already supplied the outage. I just gave it a beat.
Why This Sound
A song about iguana-caused power outages should behave like the power grid itself. Bright electro-funk and synth-pop keep it danceable while glitches, dropouts and sudden silence turn electrical failure into part of the arrangement instead of merely something described in the lyric.
- Collection
- Chicken of the Trees
- Sound
- Electro-Funk · Synth-Pop
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