Humor & Everyday Life
Everybody Out Of The Pool!
Green iguanas are excellent swimmers and really do turn up around South Florida pools. “Everybody Out Of The Pool!” turns that very real Florida sanitation problem into an aggressively cheerful beach-party evacuation.
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Sunshine on the water Blue across the sky Cannonballs and floaties Florida summertime Kids are making waves Everybody's cool Nobody sees the dinosaur Sitting high above the pool He's up in the branches Basking in the sun Nobody is watching Everybody's having fun Then Plop Nobody notices Until Mom stops What's that smell? What smell? That smell I don't smell anything I do Ewwwwwww Is it by the garbage? No Is it by the drain? No Something by the fence? No Mom gets closer to the water Oh Ohhhhh no What? Everybody What is it? Everybody out of the pool! Whyyyyyyyy?! Out! Out! Out! But whyyyy?! We've had a Wildlife situation Ewwwwwww! Iguana poop! Everybody out of the pool! Iguana poop! Everybody out of the pool! Iguana poop! You don't even have to see it Your nose will let you know! When something funky hits the water Everybody out you go! Why does it look like that? Don't look at it It's moving It's not moving It's spreading! Oh It's coming this way! It's coming for ya! Swim! Swim! Swim! It's coming for ya! Kick! Kick! Kick! It's coming for ya! Get to the ladder! It's coming for ya! That is not helping! Floaties left behind Everybody makes a line Nobody wants to be the kid Still swimming through that It's coming for ya! Get out! It's coming for ya! I know! It's coming for ya! Stop singing that! Okay We've had a minor sanitation issue Iguana poop! There appears to be contamination Iguana poop! We will need to properly address Iguana poop! Would you please stop saying Iguana poop! Fine Iguana poop Why is there so much? He eats plants A lot of plants Everybody out of the pool! Iguana poop! Everybody out of the pool! Iguana poop! You don't even have to see it Your nose will let you know! If something funky hits the water Everybody out you go! Okay Where is he? Everybody looks up Empty branch Where'd he go? He was right there I don't see him Everybody stay where you Splash! He's in the pool Of course he is He's gone beneath the water Can't see him anymore Everybody's standing safely Way back from the pool Is he coming up? Eventually When? I've timed one before How long? Fifteen minutes Fifteen minutes?! Can we hold our breath that long? No And we're not finding out Where's the dinosaur? Nobody knows Where's the dinosaur? Nobody knows Look by the ladder Look by the steps Look by the Whoosh! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh! Out he comes! Up on the deck! Stop Everybody freezes Iguana freezes What's he doing? I don't know Scuttle-scuttle-scuttle-scuttle! Aaaaaaaaah! Stop Turns his head Everybody moves away Scuttle-scuttle-scuttle! Where's he going?! I don't think he knows! Now he's sitting in the sunshine Like the pool is still his place After everything that happened Look at that little face Does he know what he did? I don't think he cares Is he sorry? Does he look sorry? Everybody out of the pool! Iguana poop! Everybody out of the pool! Iguana poop! First you smell it Then you see it Then you watch the whole thing go It's coming for ya! Not again! Everybody out of the pool! We're already out! Everybody out of the pool! There's nobody left! Okay Everybody stay calm We're all out Everything's fine Mom? What? There's another one in the tree Everyone looks up Iguana on the branch It shifts Is that one gonna poop too? Everybody run! Iguana poop! Iguana poop! Iguana poop!
Behind the story
Why This Song Exists
“Everybody Out Of The Pool!” comes from another South Florida reality that sounds funnier than it has any right to. Green iguanas are excellent swimmers. They also spend plenty of time around canals, seawalls, decks, patios and swimming pools — and Florida wildlife guidance specifically documents the waste and sanitation problems they can create around pool areas and even inside swimming pools. So the basic premise of this song is real: You can maintain the chemicals. You can skim the leaves. You can keep the water sparkling. And none of that guarantees that a large green reptile will not decide the pool belongs to him too. That is where the song starts having fun. Instead of turning it into horror, the music goes in the opposite direction: bright, sunny, ridiculously cheerful early-1960s surf rock while the humans gradually realize their relaxing Florida pool day has developed a reptile problem. The family scene and reactions are comic storytelling. They are not presented as one specific documented family or illness case. There is nothing funny about somebody becoming sick, so that is not where the joke lives. The joke is the Florida contradiction: beautiful backyard oasis, perfect sunshine, sparkling pool, and one local dinosaur who apparently thinks the amenities are included. The swimming is real. The pool problem is real. What happens once everybody notices? That belongs to the song.
Why This Sound
The pool disaster gets funnier the happier the band sounds. Early-60s surf rock and beach-party pop create a spotless postcard version of Florida while the adults and kids discover that the actual pool day has gone completely off the rails.
- Collection
- Chicken of the Trees
- Sound
- Surf Rock · Beach Party Pop
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