Humor & Everyday Life
Canal Dragon
A reported nighttime python hunt took a sharp turn when a roughly four-foot tree-dwelling iguana ended up in the hunters' boat. “Canal Dragon” turns that very real Florida encounter into a reggae cruise that suddenly becomes an action movie.
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South Florida after midnight Moon hanging low Looking for a python Taking it slow Canal black as coffee Trees along the side Nothing but the water And a lazy nighttime ride Taking it slow Slow Slow Hold up What Tree Python Nope That's a big ass iguana Four feet of lizard Sleeping overhead Tail along the branches Dreaming lizard dreams in bed Water right below him Boat beneath the tree Everybody minding Their own damn business peacefully What's that for Gonna wake him up Why He's invasive Yeah I understand why he's invasive I'm asking why we need him awake One eye opens One foot moves He's moving Good You keep saying that He's coming this way Nah He's coming this way Nah He is absolutely coming this way Huh Where's he supposed to go Water Where's the water Under us Where's the iguana Over us So what's between the iguana and the water Us Canal dragon Canal dragon The hunt just came to you Canal dragon Canal dragon What the hell did you think he'd do Four feet flying In the boat Tail whipping In the boat You went out looking for wildlife Wildlife found the boat He's in the boat I know Why is he in the boat Gravity Tail to the tackle Claws on the deck Cool professional python hunt What the fuck happened next Hold him I'm holding him Watch his mouth Why He bites That information was late We weren't hunting iguanas We are now Did we change packages Apparently Iguana hunting vacation Not now Canal dragon Came right out the tree Canal dragon Delivery was free Didn't call him Here he is Didn't book him Here he is Didn't even have to leave the boat There He Is Four feet long Muscle and tail Claws on the deck This evening has failed He just tried to bite you Yep Does that happen a lot The biting No The airborne delivery Not as much Boot on the dragon Dragon disagrees Everybody reconsidering Their evening peacefully What do you call this thing That That's a Canal dragon Canal dragon Dragon Dragon The green iguana Tree-dwelling A powerful swimmer When threatened from a tree It may escape toward the water below Unless Some jackass parked a boat Where the water was supposed to be That's us Now In fairness to the iguana He was asleep We found him He was in a tree We poked him He opened one eye We poked him again He started moving We kept poking He looked down Saw water Jumped Found People Boat Boots Screaming You think you're having a bad night In fairness He might be Went out hunting pythons Found an iguana Found an iguana Iguana found you Poked the iguana Why'd you do that Poked him again Why'd you do that Iguana jumped Where'd he go Right in the boat Oh hell no Who's hunting who Nobody knows Who's got the dragon Check your toes Where's the iguana Between your legs Move Move Move Move Move Everybody good Yeah Boat good Yeah Dragon secured Yeah Good Was that another one Don't I was just Don't Should we Don't look up Canal dragon Flying through the night Canal dragon Four feet of fight Came for the pythons Surprise Poked at the treetops Bad advice You thought you were hunting On a peaceful canal The canal hunted back Canal Dragon Canal Dragon Canal Dragon So We going back to looking for pythons Yep Okay Can we maybe Not poke anything else No promises Oh Come on
Behind the story
Why This Song Exists
“Canal Dragon” starts as somebody else's hunt and ends with the iguana stealing the scene. Reporting around a November 2024 nighttime invasive-python hunt involving wildlife trapper Mike Kimmel, known as Python Cowboy, describes an approximately four-foot iguana up in a tree. The animal was disturbed with a long pole. Then it ended up in the boat. It was restrained and attempted to bite. That is the reported backbone. And it creates a wonderfully Florida problem: You are cruising a canal at night looking for one invasive reptile when a completely different reptile suddenly becomes the main event. The humans were hunting pythons. The iguana was in a tree. The water was below. The boat was unfortunately in between. That is why the music starts as a relaxed nighttime reggae/dub canal cruise and then abruptly turns into action cinema when the situation changes. The dialogue, panic and movie-sized musical reaction are comic treatment. They are not presented as verbatim speech from the people involved. “Canal dragon” comes from the reported encounter itself, and it fits beautifully because this animal did not remain background scenery. It entered the story. You go looking for a python. Florida sends a dragon.
Why This Sound
The opening reggae/dub pocket makes the hunt feel calm and controlled right up until an iguana lands in the boat. Killing the groove at the impact and detonating into action scoring lets the arrangement experience the same WHAT JUST HAPPENED moment as the people in the story.
- Collection
- Chicken of the Trees
- Sound
- Reggae · Dub · Cinematic
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